Baby It's Cold Out There
by Mega DMX
Summary: Just a quick fanfic Christmas song sang by Stan and Wendy before the holidays start. If you read the title, this is a complete parody of "Dean Martin - Baby It's Cold Outside".


**Wendy's Residence...**

At the living room, Stan and Wendy are sitting on the couch watching cable t.v with their snacks like chips and koolaid. The couple are watching a Christmas which is a shitty sequel to a classic movie called "A Christmas Story 2" as they groan on every stupid scene they've seen but most of the time they make fun of it as well.

Stan: "I can't believe there marathon this shitty sequel."

Wendy: "It's not just a marathon on this channel, but it's on every fucking channel."

Stan: "Jesus Christ," **(Stan then starts to chuckles)** "Guess Cable television is on Santa's naughty list this year."

Wendy: ***chuckles*** "Guess so."

Stan: ***sighed*** "You know...I'm glad you call me over here, Wendy. I really need to get away from the farm."

Wendy: "Stan, you should tell your dad that you hated the farm and wanted come back to South Park."

Stan: "I did. Several times, but only spilling crap about how important Tegridy Farm is and crap. Just makes me want to punch him the balls every time he explains about Tegridy Farms to me."

Wendy: "I'm sorry. "

Stan: ***smiled and turn to Wendy*** "Thanks. Like I said, I'm just glad you call me over here; that way I could spend some alone time with you." **(He's slowly lean towards to Wendy as he's ready to kiss her.)**

Wendy: ***grins*** "Should we save it under the mistletoe?"

Stan: ***grins* **"Why saved it when we could kissed now."

The two look at each other and as soon they're about to kiss, Stan's phone ring.

Stan: "God damn it," **(Stan is getting a call from his dad as he took a deep breath before he could answer)** "What is it, dad?"

Randy:_ "Stan, I have a job for you. I need you to come back home and help me deliver my Christmas Special to all the men and women around South Park."_

Stan: "But dad I just got to Wendy's house. Could you or Towelie do it yourself?"

Randy: "_Now, Stan!"_

Stan: ***groans*** "Fine!"

Randy: _"Thank you, son. Love you."_

Stan hang up and growls a bit. "God fucking damn it."

Wendy: "What did he said?"

Stan: "Dad wants me to deliver his pack of weed to the adults."

Wendy: ***sighed* "**Can we enjoy the holiday like we used to do."

Stan: "I've been asking myself through out the whole month. Better get this over with."

Wendy: And your leaving right now?"

Stan: I'm sorry, Wendy. I'll call you later.

Wendy: **(stops him by holding his arm)** You sure you wanna leave?

Stan: Afraid so, babe. **(slip his arm out)**.

Wendy: **(grab his arm again) **Please don't go.

Stan: Sorry, but I have too. **(slip his arm out again)**

Wendy: **(grab his arm again and then starts to sing) **_But baby it's cold out there_

Stan: **(starts to sing too as he slip his arm out once more). **_I__ really can't stay_

Wendy:_ But, baby, it's cold out there_

Stan: _I've__ got to go away_

Wendy: _But,__ baby, it's cold out there_

Stan: _This__ day has been_

Wendy: _Been__ hoping that you'd drop in_

Stan: _So__ very nice_

Wendy: **(hold his hands) **_I'll__ hold your hands they're just like ice_

The two sat back down on the couch as they're ready to Kiss, but Stan remembers he has go as he got up from the couch.

Stan: _My__ father will start to bitch_

Wendy: _Beautiful,__ what's the rush_

Stan: _My__ father will be calling me nonstop_

Wendy: _Listen__ to the fireplace roar_

Stan: _But__ you don't have a fireplace_

Wendy: _Right,__ I completely forgot_

Stan: _How__ could you forget at your own house_

Wendy: _Could__ we drop it, please_

Stan: _Okay, but still I have to go_

Wendy:_ Baby, it's really bad out there _**(she gives him koolaid).**

Stan: **(drinks his koolaid) **_Say__ what's in this drink_

Wendy:_ "No buses to be had out there."_

Stan:_ "I wish I knew how."_

Wendy:_ Your eyes are like starlight now_

Stan:_ To break this spell_

Wendy: **(removes his hat) **_I'll__ take your hat, your hair looks swell, but smelly._

Wendy drag him back to the couch as she takes off his shoes so he could get comfortable.

Stan: _I __ought to say no, no, no, ma'am_

Wendy: **(slowly crawl towards him) **_Mind__ if I move in closer_

Stan:_ At least I'm gonna say that I tried_

Wendy: _What's the sense of hurting my pride_

Stan:_ You're more feminine then prideful_

Wendy: _What's wrong having it both_

Stan and Wendy:_ Baby, it's cold out there_

Wendy is now on top of him. Stan blushes, but can't let her win when playing the alpha dog.

Stan: **(flip over her to be on top) **_I __simply must go_

Wendy: **(flip over him to be on top) **_Baby, it's cold out there_

Stan: **(flip her over again) **_The answer is no_

Wendy:** (flip him over again) **_Baby, it's cold there_

Stan: **(flip her again)**_ The welcome has been_

Wendy: **(flips him once more) **_So__ good that you came in_

Stan: **(flip her once more as well, but this time getting ready to leave) **_So__ nice and warm_

Wendy: _"__Look__ out the window at the storm." _**(shows him outside the window that is snowing, but not to bad and a frozen dead Kenny).**

Stan:_ Oh my god they've killed Kenny_

Wendy:_ The storm is a bastard_

Stan:_ Why do you like to harassed me_

Wendy:_ It's not a harassment if you're enjoying this_

Stan:_ You're right about that_

Wendy:_ Damn your lips are delicious_

Stan:_ But maybe just a bag of chips_

Wendy:_ Never such a blizzard before_

Stan eat a few pieces of chip while Wendy takes off his coat, but soon stop eating.

Stan:_ I got to get going_

Wendy:_ But, baby, you'd freeze outside_

Stan:_ I felt worst, so lend me my coat_

Wendy:_ It's up to your thighs out there_

Stan:_ Baby, what part of no do you not understand_

Wendy: _It's not in my dictionary _

Stan:_ But don't you see_

Wendy: ***frustrated* **_why do you keep on playing with me_

Stan puts back on his shoes, coat, and his hat.

Stan: _Why can't we__ just call later_

Wendy: **(get on her knees and begged)**_ Think of my life long sorrow_

Stan:_ At least there will be plenty implied_

Wendy: **(holding on his left leg)** _If you caught pneumonia and died_

Stan:_ I have a shitty responsibilities _

Wendy: _Fuck your __responsibilities _

Stan and Wendy: **(holding each other hands as they smiled) **_Baby, it's cold out there_

Stan's phone rang again. The call is from his dad again as he sighed. "Yeah?"

Randy: _"Stan, where the hell are you?! The Christmas special must be delivered before the holiday!"_

Stan: **(****Stan looks at her girlfriend for a sec with a bit sadness on her face and the respond he'll give to his dad over the phone is**...**) **"Fuck off, dad, deliver them yourself! **(hangs up). **

Wendy:** *smiled* **"You know you're going to get grounded for this."

Stan: ***smiled* **Like I give a damn. I promised you that I'm spending my whole day with you, and I'm keeping it."

Wendy: "I love you, Stan."

Stan: "I love you too, Wendy."

The two finally kissed on the lips.


End file.
